[christian harry potter?]

[christian harry potter?]

I thought my rage would settle after I posted about this madness on Facebook, sharing my opinion.

It didn’t.

Don’t know what I am talking about?

A friend has sent me a link to this article.

Some uber-Christian mama decided to creatively solve a problem when her kids asked if they could read Harry Potter books. She… rewrote the story. (You can read it here.)

However, the story she tells:

1. Has nothing to do with the real story of Harry Potter as told by Rowling. Seems like just the names remained. Professor Dumbledore is now Reverend “with a distinctive southern twang” – WHA!?  Albus Dumbledore is from Bible Belt? Also she even changed the color of Harry’s eyes (the most prominent thing about his appearance apart from the lightning scar – everyone who saw his green eyes commented on how they were just like Lily’s, his mother.)

2. Is extremely childish and girlish (the descriptions are so sweet I get sick) like “Lovely, ladylike tears began to roll down her delicate, terrified face.” (First of all, what are ladylike tears? And secondly, why the need to always use two adjectives?)

3. Is bigoted: Ron Weasley is from Slytherin (the worst house in original books and here she makes Slytherins Catholic). When Harry questions Ron’s desire to pray to a statue of Mary (why they are roommates when they are in different Houses is another thing), he finally comes to conclusion that “Well, even Jesus ate with sinners!” (So obviously Catholics are sinners.)

4. God is a genie because, according to Grace Ann’s story, all you need to do is ask approapriately.

For example,

Dumbledore got down on his knees. Everyone else did the same. Raising his large, massive, manly hands up to the heavens, Dumbledore bellowed in a voice even louder than Hagrid’s had been, “Lord, please take us to the kitchen!”

Suddenly, they all found themselves in a tasteful, decorated kitchen!

The Christian Potter

Or, even more specific…

[Reverend’s wife got down] to her knees and raising her own hands upwards. “Dear Lord, please set the table with the sky-blue cloth and the Sunday dishes, and please give us biscuits fried golden brown and gravy, creamy mashed potatoes, my great aunt Eleanor’s corn casserole, corn on the cob slathered with butter, and for dessert, some chocolate raspberry cookies.”

All of these things appeared on the table exactly as the reverend’s wife had asked for them, masterfully prepared and delicious-smelling. Harry’s mouth dropped open. Truly, this woman was a real Proverbs 31 wife!

I wish cooking was that simple! (And that’s how you become a Proverbs 31 wife? Nice.)

5. The shallowness of it kills me. She obviously haven’t read any of the books and it drives me up the wall when people want to change something they know NOTHING about!

The poor boy, being raised by two parents who were not Christian; and who both went to work and left him with a babysitter all day long. It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time. Five years down the road, Harry might have been a fornicating, drug-addicted Evolutionist!

Because everyone becomes a fornicating drug-addicted Evolutionist if only they don’t find the Way, which is only limited to Evangelical Christians.

6. She started doing this so her kids won’t feel left out about the story of Potter. If you ask me, I would rather simply explain to kids why they can’t do something instead of creating a cheap parody. If anything, they would be laughed at when they would mention the “Potter” they have read. (And probably then think of themselves as martyrs who were mocked for upholding the truth and faith.)

7. She obviously forgot one important fact – [original] Harry Potter is a kids’ fairy tale. It doesn’t transform kids into witches and wizards. However, when you mix a fairy tale with the truth of Christianity, it becomes a mockery bordering on blasphemy.

Yes, I am an advocate of Potter who thinks that those stories can be used to help kids understand some issues from the Bible and Christianity – because most probably even their non-Christian friends have read / watched those books / movies. Bravery, standing for what is right (even when you might die for that), fighting against evil and helping those who are good.

8. Last, but not least. COME ON, if you think of yourself as a writer, USE PROPER GRAMMAR! I am not a native English speaker, but even I know that you cannot use semicolon instead of a comma (and a whole bunch of other things…) Makes me cringe every time I see it. (And yes, I decided to read the entire thing so that I could speak about it.)

Okay, rant over (I think.)

I always say that Harry Potter is not a Bible substitute (far from it!) and I don’t say that everyone should read it. But if you want to twist something… I don’t know. It’s cheap, it’s low, and it’s terrible.

And after that, try telling someone (who’s non-Christian) that Christians aren’t some crazy fanatics. *Facepalm.* Thanks for nothing, Grace Ann.

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