[God knows]

[God knows]

There are times when I am torn between two desires: to scream at the top of my lungs and to cry.

Times when words fail me (at least audible ones) and I can only sit and stare blankly, trying to find words in either of the languages I know.

There are times like that at work and I shared with a colleague of mine that these are the times when I am somewhat sorry that I am a Christian. “Otherwise,” I said, “I would be able to simply lash out at the person. But I can’t. I have to rule over my emotions.”

When I shared the same sentiment with Sam, he said something that got stuck in my mind.

It wasn’t anything new or extremely profound. Instead, it was a simple truth that I knew about yet I forgot to apply it to this situation.

“God knows what is going on.”

This morning, the verse of the day that I’ve got was from Romans 12:19:

Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

I was so upset with the fact that I couldn’t even do anything in that particular situation that it clouded my vision of the fact that God knows what is going on, and He knows my feelings and why I try to simply breathe deeply instead of cursing.

Sometimes it’s hard to reign one’s own emotions. Yet if I have learned anything in this life, I have learned that it’s easier to control myself sometimes than asking forgiveness later when you realize you’ve made a mistake worse than the person who hurt you in the first place.

I am sorry I was sorry I am a Christian and can’t curse because of it. It’s a lame excuse… And I do want to please God more than people.

God knows.

He knows the tough situations we go through.

He knows the reasons behind those situations.

He knows what kinds of lessons we can learn from them.

He knows what the other people, who might’ve hurt us accidentally without intention to, are going through. Perhaps, they are having a hard time with some personal issues. It’s not an excuse either, really, but at least it explains a bit.

I don’t know. 

But God knows. 

And I am thankful for my wise companion who reminds me of these truths.

  • Two things: first this companion thing seems to be getting a tad serious. Remember he still has to meet “big brother.” 🙂 Second, your post reminded me of how many times Proverbs says to control our tongue. 19:21 says, “One can devise many plans in one’s mind, but Adonai’s plan will prevail.” (Jewish bible). That about sums it up. For the record: I agree with Sam. 🙂

    • Hahahaha, well… God definitely has something planned for us. Not a day goes by that we’re not amazed at how intricately God has planned our story – so many details and so many things that were leading up to this meeting… so many events that took place several years ago, or even before my birth… It’s pretty much incredible.

      I like that Jewish Bible translation – thanks for sharing, Bill!

  • I also believe he is making a wise and great choice.

  • Susan

    I feel your frustration, Zee. My husband was let go from his job several weeks ago for no discernible reason except that they found someone who would work for less money. And that is the conclusion I had to come to: God knows what’s going on. Thank you for that reminder.

    • I am so sorry about your husband’s job, Susan. Well, not about the job itself, but just for the times of trials you’re going through. But yes – God knows what He’s doing – who knows, perhaps, there’s a better opportunity waiting just ’round the corner.


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