My friends looked at me, “But it’s you. They value you. Talk to the management. Perhaps things can be changed?”

I shook my head, afraid to allow myself to think about the possibility that who knows, perhaps I am not the employee I used to be – on fire and enthusiastic for my job.

I mentioned a month ago that we had a self-evaluation thing at work. Yesterday it turned out that my manager thinks the same about me that I think of myself. I guess it’s a good thing that we’re sort of on the same page, yet I couldn’t not feel despair at the employee evaluation meeting last night.

I missed the moment when the family became an organization.

What used to be frowned upon before is expected now. Back in the days when the Chamber was small, everyone did everything that needed to be done. Like caring family members, we pitched in all together and did the tasks quicker. There were those people who usually said “I have my own tasks to finish,” but usually that attitude wasn’t welcome.

Now that’s what we’re supposed to do. Unless you are given a permission, you cannot help other teams (even if their task is more urgent that yours).

“You look at your projects and the projects of other teams and choose what is more interesting to you and do it – disregarding the fact that it might not be the task for your team.” That’s what I’ve been told.

I was hungry (lunch was late) and tired and I tried to keep my feelings in check, but I was failing.

Oh, at the same meeting, I’ve been told that I’ve got a new job title.

After four years of being E-Publications / Web-Content Coordinator, I am now a Web Communications & Creative Projects Coordinator.

The new job responsibilities are interesting, but since this news came after the evaluation analysis, I wasn’t looking too cheerful.

“Any questions about new job or anything?”


“Is everything alright? You look stressed.”


I am still trying to process everything in my mind.

I wonder if God is pushing me out of my job… or perhaps, it’s just a time of trials that shall pass. I don’t know which one is it. Seems like I don’t know anything these days.

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