[salty tears in a fancy cup]

[salty tears in a fancy cup]

I sit here on the balcony floor in the semi-darkness. Laptop is on my lap and I’m leaning against a box where we usually keep potatoes for the winter. The coolness of the air is a welcome thing because of the day’s heat. If one tunes out the light coming from the adjacent room, stars can be seen in the sky. It’s a clear night tonight.

Unlike the weather outside, my mind seems to be undergoing a storm season.

I’ve got to admit, though, that at the moment, everything is calm. I’m afraid it’s calmness that comes before a fierce storm. But I guess the only way out right now is up.

We had a Church board meeting earlier today. I mostly remained silent except for a few comments.

“Are you alright?”

I looked up at my pastor as he came near after the meeting ended. The instinct has been to say “Sure, I’m good.” It’s what everyone says even when life is falling apart. “I’m okay” was another option – middle ground. Not good, not bad. Okay. I don’t think that word even has a definition nowadays. Then I decided I don’t actually have anything to lose.

“Well, not really. Prayers are very welcome.”

As I reflected on that little dialogue, I remembered something I thought of a couple of months ago.

It was Maundy (or as it is known here, Clean) Thursday and we had a Seder meal at Church along with the Communion – the meal that was Jesus’ last.

As my pastor talked about the different parts of the meal, one of the dishes was a cup with salty water.

I didn’t pay attention to it at first, but as the meal went on and I studied the different dishes more and more, I realized something.

That cup with salty water is a symbol of all the tears that the Israelites shed as they slaved under the Egypt’s masters.

I know it wasn’t planned to mean anything but the cup that we used for the meal that night was quite fancy.

How often do we pour our tears into a pretty china and present it to the world as if this is the sweetest delight in a most perfect dish?

How often do we see the spiffy cups others show off without wondering if they really are doing as great as they appear to be?

Do we really need to pretend?

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