[gone into hiding]

[gone into hiding]

I’ve been hiding.

Hiding outside the blog (wrote several drafts and killed them).

Hiding inside books (just finished second book from Hunger Games – the first one was finished in a day, second one took a bit longer since I was at work).

Hiding from the avalanche of changes that are happening.

As previously, I know I will look back at this time in a few months and probably think “Well, see, it wasn’t too bad. Some changes were good.”

But right now I still want to hide. 

My biggest struggle in life is trying to live in the present, think of the future.

Instead, I end up in the past.

“I remember when…”

“Back in the old days…”

“When Grandma was alive…”

“When Skinners were still in Ukraine…”

It’s eating me from the inside. My own memories suffocate me.

And it’s so hard to see good things – I know they are there, but it’s almost as if I will betray the past by enjoying the present. Have you ever felt this? Please tell me that I am not the only one who feels like this.

Soon there will be more good byes.

There are hellos too, but I find that it’s harder to say hello when you know that these people won’t stay in your life for a long time.

We’ll see.

On the other hand, I got this on my monitor this morning. Don’t know who it came from, but it was nice.

  • Trek23rider

    Guaranteed you were hugged from Indiana.  Been missing you.  Was listening to Kutless on the way back from Ohio and it made me think of you.  🙂  

    • Thanks for the hug, Bill (Trek23Rider?) 😀 

      Yeah, I’ve been scarce… I am planning on making up for it this week. Hopefully the plans will work out. 

      • Trek23rider

         Disqus didn’t like my cycleguy and wouldn’t post my comment on many blogs.  I had to “join” it and it wouldn’t accept cycleguy. 

        • Hmmm… Odd. I wonder if anyone else is having trouble with Disqus… 

          • Trek23rider

             I was having trouble at most Disques sites all of a sudden.  It would post it, but when i went back it was gone.  Blogger was doing it also.  Jay.  Jon Stolpe. It was maddening.  now I have to have a different name. 

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