It was about 5AM. We were exhausted from travelling all night long from Antalya to Istanbul and were ready to finally board the plane that would take us home to Kyiv.
The registration was still closed, even though it was only about an hour before the flight. It was hard to stay awake, but we didn’t really want to fall asleep and miss the flight either. So, there we were – grumpy, tired, and awake.
One thing about me that my family and close friends know about – when I am tired, I am no fun to be around. It’s not that I would bite your head off… but, I have to admit, if you bother me, then the thought of biting your head off might visit my mind. And back then, at 5AM, I was not in my best mood.
As I sat there, on that cold chair, waiting for the flight attendant or whoever to show up and give us permission to board, I brooded. On different things. On how much I am already missing the spirit of the conference; on how cold it’s going to be back home (it was +25C / 77F in Antalya and +5C / 40F in Kyiv); on the fact that I am tired of being a nanny…
And then… as my thoughts sunk deeper and deeper into the darkness, out of blue I thought about Jesus washing His disciples’ feet.
I have no idea why that picture was suddenly so vivid in my mind.
It was as though God was trying to say, “Hush, child, I still love you.”
Undeserved love… Love when I was not at my best behaviour (even though not outwardly, but inside matters too…)… Love when all I did was complaining. I can’t explain it, but it was as though He was there, in front of me, washing my own feet, wanting me to feel His love.
It was amazing… and it was unnerving.
Whenever I am reading that story in the Gospels, I keep trying to imagine what would I do if I were there. I think I would be just like Peter. “No, Master, You cannot wash my feet… Oh… Yes, I do want to be with You… Can you wash my head too?”
I sighed and whispered a quiet “Thanks” to Him for reminding me what really matters in this life. After that, I realized that actually I was thankful for a lot of things: that I had a chance to go to the conference (even though technically I did not have enough days off at work); that I could enjoy a few more days of 77F weather (instead of being in the cold Kyiv all week); that I have friends who look up to me.
It is incredible how He can change our perspectives.