[not good enough]

[not good enough]

This has been something that I have struggled with for quite some time: being not good enough.

Today, another straw has been added to the proverbial camel’s back – something that I wanted to do for years – donating blood to help someone else – did not work out.

My blood was not good enough.

I came in the morning (after trying to not drink coffee / eat only healthy food for 48 hours), filled out the documents, sat to have my blood tested… and was told “You cannot donate blood today. You’ve got low hemoglobin level.”

I looked at the nurse… “So this is it?”

“For now, yes. You cannot be a donor today.”

I slowly walked out of the facility, feeling as if I was a ghost. Even now, after my friends at work tried to cheer me up, I still feel… rather blue.

So… I don’t know. Guess I will just have to work on getting my hemoglobin levels up and try again.

Right now – it sucks not to be able to follow one of my dreams.

LATE NIGHT EDIT: All this wallowing above does not mean that I am giving up on my dream of becoming a blood donor. I WILL be a donor… The only thing is I need to finally get my low hemoglobin levels up – gonna be interesting considering that it has been low all my life. However, getting that fixed will only improve my health, so – here I come!

Oh, and another note: thanks y’all (those who are reading my blog / facebook / know me in real life) for cheering me up. You guys rock!

  • Amy

    Zee, this is a sad post. I can't believe YOU feel like you're not good enough!?!? Whenever I see you I see a strong woman who could do anything. Sometimes I envy you. If it makes you feel any better I would totally take your blood- low hemoglobin level and all πŸ˜‰ Love you!

    • Thanks hon. I really really miss you – when are you coming back?

      What's your blood type? (But then, doesn't matter… I'm O (I), which means that I am supposedly a universal donor… only I can't donate…

  • I think it's awesome you wanted to donate blood in the first place. Shows your heart is in the right place. I hope next time works out better for you!
    My recent post House Envy

  • Ok, sorry for the reply fail. That was supposed to be to you πŸ™‚
    My recent post House Envy

  • Oh Zena.

    Proverbs says that "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick." I'm sorry that this has been denied you right now. But think of all the cool stuff God can do with it! I know what it feels like to have hope be deferred. But there is another part of that verse "But when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:12, KJV). Think of how good God is and how sweet it will be when this heart sickness pays off.

    Another verse to think about is 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

    These two verses have meant a lot to me. So even though I am sad that you were not allowed to give, I am excited for the possibilities that God has left open.

    One last thing. God thought you were "good enough."
    My recent post Words

  • Mary Benton

    Zee, I got through here on normal computer without stuff about antispam word. Yet another glitchy thing with ipad. Ipad is definitely not the full deal as a computer as i have learned from experience. Take care and don't give up on your dreams.

    Mary

    • Thanks for not giving up on commenting on my blog! πŸ˜€ (obviously iPads don't like my blog… hmm…weird)… And thanks for encouragement!
      My recent post lunar eclipse

  • i feel like if there would all be so motivates like you we could change this cheep system, called capitalism

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