[reflections on church and family]

[reflections on church and family]

DISCLAIMER: I just want to write… So, yeah. You’ve been warned.

A single row of street lights illuminates the not-as-busy street below my windows as I sit on the balcony with Jacy and Liz to keep me company. The night is dark and it’s late, but I don’t want to sleep.

One of the reasons is a late nap.

Another reason is an “Open Letter” that one of our pastors in Ukraine posted on Facebook… which talks about what is wrong with our Church (I am guessing he’s talking about the Ukrainian one, not the global – but then, he did not clarify).

Granted, I did not see eye-to-eye with him before because… because of many reasons. At the same time, I feel hurt by that letter because basically he ranted on and on accusing each and everyone and not proposing any solutions. His last sentence was “The question is what to do? Because we still don’t know what should be the position of a good Christian in our current situation.”

What should be a position of a good Christian? His / her position should be focused on following Christ, not ranting about everyone and everything or ranting about the religious system. Is he any better by creating a strict rule in the Church he pastors?

*SIGH*

This is one of those times when I just don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to try to prove my point… This is one of those times when I once again wish I could care less.

I am teaching Sunday School tomorrow and to be honest, I have absolutely no desire to do it. I love kiddos, but how can I teach them something I struggle with myself?

I… I am tired.

Not physically (I wish)… I am tired morally and spiritually. I have lost my aim. I am sort of disappointed that May 21, 2011 was not the end of it all (even if I did not think it would happen then)… I know others have faced situations far tougher than mine, but I guess I am just a weak and naive kid who doesn’t know what to do.

Naive because I still keep thinking that Church is not a system. Yeah, we’ve got administrative stuff that helps Churches manage their assets, but Church is not a system itself. As Peter Pollock put it,

The Church is a family, it’s a bunch of people. It’s not a Sunday service, it’s not a meeting, it’s not a good sermon. It’s a family. A family created to help each other walk along the path that God has laid down for us.

~ Peter Pollock, The Church makes me cry sometimes.

Maybe there are flaws in the system… but why do we keep letting those flaws get in between us?

I guess it all is magnified by the fact that I miss my blood-related family since they all are far away (and some gone). We stuck together side-by-side even when the things were tough. We fought for each other, we cherished the bonds between us. Even when we didn’t understand the other’s point, we found ways how to mend the relationships (even by means of paper airplanes and tea)…

Why can’t we be like that at our Churches?

  • WOW Zee! First, this fries me that he is "allowed" to post an open letter on fb without any reprisal. Then again, maybe I am reading this wrong. Is it one of your pastors talking about the church you attend or is it a Ukrainian pastor in general talking about the church in Ukraine? Second, I understand your tiredness. I sometimes get tired fighting also. Leadership is sometimes a lonely place to be, but if God has called me/you to be there, then He will equip us to do the job. Granted, doesn't make it any easier but I take "pleasure" in knowing that He put me here then He will be here for me. It maybe too late when you get this but remember those kids need all of you. Love them and know you are "God" to them for those few moments. Third, you will come out of this much stronger than when you went in. Fourth, virtual hug coming your way. Love you lil sis and praying for you every day.
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    • well, you can't really control people… the thing that fries me is that the only possible outcome from this is a riot or division within the Church. he is a Naz pastor from another town in Ukraine, but he was talking about the Church of the Nazarene in Ukraine…

      Leadership is certainly a lonely place… And I have to wryly smile at God for putting me into a position like my current one even though I always said that I am a follower, NOT a leader. I can only lead when I am following a more respected leader… dang… and i guess all Christians ARE followers (even though they might be in leadership)… since we're following Christ… *sigh*

      Thanks for the hug and encouragement. You are a huge blessing to me (and not just me).

      Oh, and I had a good time in Sunday School… granted, the lesson today was… just enjoying each other's company – we talked, laughed, shared stories about our pets, competitions that the kiddos took part in, our families, food, and other random things 🙂 I think it went good. The kids liked it anyway.
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  • I love that quote by Peter Pollock.

    I think you should "just write" more often. 🙂

    • I have a feeling that I will… the open letter business is about to turn into an avalanche… *sigh* why can't Christians live in peace with each other?

  • Great post!

    And thank you for including a quote from me in it, I am greatly honored!

    Beautiful blog, by the way!

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