[random notes: speeches]
NOTE: Mostly venting, so yeah… Just thought I’d warn ya.
I thought I grew over my stupid stage-fright. With all the numerous camps and random filling-in things at work, Sunday school classes and other… I even preached 4 years ago… I thought I was over it.
Obviously not to the degree that I hoped for.
It started with Psalm 121. It is my favorite one and I know it by heart. I was asked to read it today at Church and I figured – if I already know it by heart, I can just say it, why read what I can recite? I practised and practised at home and before the service started.
The time for Scripture reading came, and I found my throat constricting in a very familiar way. I walked out and did recite the psalm, but my voice was pathetic. What in the world?
And then, after the service, we had our annual Church members’ gathering and I had to present the financial stuff since I am sort of the treasurer these days (sort of, because I still haven’t assumed the responsibilities fully…). I had no idea what to talk about! I mean… We have spent SO much time discussing tithes this year with the board and all this… I didn’t want to talk numbers. They are empty. So I came out and most of my 5 minute speech was simple thanks to all those present for their loyalty and willingness to serve. I did mention a couple of programs that we have got and mentioned that even though 2010 was a tough year economically, the offerings remained on the same level as the year before, and sat down. Only to have the previous treasurer (who passed her responsibilities to me in November after she decided she doesn’t want to do it any more) stand up and talk about numbers. All I could do was observe… What’s the point to go over the numbers? And if she said she doesn’t want to do it any longer, why interfere? (Or else, why not make the presentation herself? She was in charge of finances for longer than I was…)
And that was my morning. I am still thinking whether to remain a treasurer for this year. I know there is a need, but I am not sure I am the one to do this. I don’t know… prayers will be appreciated regarding making this decision.
Anyway, I just needed to vent. And now I need to go to sleep.