[song thoughts]

[song thoughts]

Sometimes a song gets stuck in my mind and I keep humming it all day. Sometimes the song is dumb and I spend half of the humming time thinking what other song I can get stuck on just to get rid of that one. Sometimes, the song is good and I start thinking about the meaning behind the lyrics.

The song of the last couple of days was The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars. This was the first song of 30STM that I have ever heard and it was this very song that made me like their music. They are not a Christian band, but there’s something about them (besides the fact that the frontman is incredibly handsome)…

There is a line in that song that is especially close to me.

I tried to be someone else but nothing seemed to change.
I know now, this is who I really am inside.

Finally found myself, fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am.

So often I find myself trying to fit my square personality into a circle opening…

Every single day I keep catching myself saying “I don’t know what I want.” I guess even God will soon be tired of that phrase coming from me. Yet I truly don’t know what I want (well, there is one thing that I really want, but I will have to wait for that – God only knows how long, literally).

But you know the fun thing? Every single time whenever I tell God “Dad, I have no idea what I want,” He provides what I need. And that makes me grin even now when I am tired and don’t want anything anymore besides sleep 🙂

A long time ago, just on a whim, I have memorized a poem by Helen Steiner Rice which comes to mind every so often.

So just keep on smiling, whatever betide you
Secure in the knowledge, God’s always beside you

For each time you smile you will find it is true
Somebody, somewhere, will smile back at you.

So… even though I am in the process of discovering who I am and even though I have no idea what I want, I am sitting here in front of my lappy, grinning and feeling all warm inside because His love is amazing and His mercies are renewed every morning.

  • So, ok. There are a few things that stand out in your post. First, I know the square-peg-round-hole feeling, but you know that about me. I have often said that I must be some kind of octagon peg because I don't fit with the rounds or the squares…

    But you said something about that song: "I tried to be someone else but nothing seemed to change. I know now, this is who I really am inside." This is the restorative awesome power of God. When we don't like ourselves, when we can't stand the wretches we have so much capacity to be, God can change us.

    I wish God would tell me what I want too. Bless you, Zee.
    My recent post Perspective

    • yes, God does change us, but He changes us into who we really are (because we have an astounding capacity to complicate things that He created easy). He doesn't make us different, He restores what we've corrupted.
      My recent post 5-minute-friday

  • mercies new every morning…i've been thankful for those a lot lately!

    um, and jared leto from his my so called life days? be still my teen-aged heart!

    • yep, that's the guy. i sometimes think that it is against the law to be that hunky… 😀

      thanks for the comment, Suzannah 🙂 and welcome to my blog.
      My recent post 5-minute-friday

%d bloggers like this: