[desert storm]

[desert storm]

Lately my life has reminded me of two things: desert time and storm.

Desert time because there have been a lot of temptations and trials (some of which I have failed miserably)… The storm reference is because there are often times when I feel like I am desperately trying to swim to the surface, only to be covered with more waves. Thankfully I do get gulps of fresh air, even if mixed with the drops of salty water.

Due to the fact that my friends needed someone to housesit while they are away, I got a chance to get away from my routine and get some quiet time. I guess God also decided to add to that and decided that I don’t really need internet access for a few days which is the reason I haven’t been around.

On Monday, I decided that I want to listen to Lifehouse and put their albums on shuffle. A song called Storm came up that made me stop whatever I was doing and listen. It hit way too close to home, yet I don’t think I have ever heard this song before… Or maybe I did, but it waited until the proper moment to make an impression…

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form…
Water is getting hard to tread with these waves crashing over my head

I have no idea how long I have been in the “ocean.” It seems like it started about 3 years ago. Yeah, I know, long time… But that was from the very very beginning.

If I could just see You everything would be alright
If I see You this darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be alright

I know that God is there to catch me when I fall… But sometimes I am afraid that I went too far away from Him for Him to catch me… Yet, He never fails me.

I know You didn’t bring me out here to drown so why am I ten feet under and upside down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose ’cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface

The purpose of this desert / trial / storm time is not to see me drown. The purpose is to teach me something, yet so far I have obviously been a bad student because I cannot seem to grasp the idea of the lesson…

If I could just see You everything would be alright
If I see You this darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be alright

Now everything is alright
Everything’s alright

Everything will be alright in the end. I know it, He promised. But I sure hope and pray that this storm will finally end and I will be able to finally breathe.

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