[what’s next?]

[what’s next?]

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

~ C.S. Lewis

That man could rival Solomon’s wisdom…

Few past weeks were hectic. I knew they are going to be hectic because time before Christmas is always hectic at the Chamber, yet I did not suspect it is going to be this exhausting. Thankfully, God is blessing me with friends who don’t mind my occasional tired snappiness and strength to carry on when I feel like putting my head on my keyboard, closing my eyes, and pretend I don’t care any more.

The snow finally made an appearance today. Add low clouds, fog, and wet cold… I do not like winter. I was born in winter, but this season makes me cranky and weary. Tonight I was literally begging God for 10 minutes of real sunshine tomorrow… How I long to get above the clouds and see the blueness of the heavens, the Sun, the stars, the moon… David, in Psalm 19, wrote:

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known.

I long for that. I long to look up and see the blue sky. I know the snow clouds have been created by God, too, but somehow they don’t lift up my spirit but press it against the cold hard earth, trample it.

But God can get me through this semi-depressed state, through the hectic times at work and at Church, and in the end, make me a victor. Yet, like in that quote in the very beginning… I wonder how painful it would be to emerge as a winner. Yet…

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

J.K. Rowling

I don’t want to fail by default so I am going to make myself get out of the shell I’ve climbed into and see the world.

Mine is only a battle. He has won the war.

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