[random notes: the other side]
(SIDENOTE: These are just random thoughts. I am not thinking about dying any time soon – well, unless it happens.)
Our new office building is located right next to a cemetery. This has been an item for jokes for quite some time before we moved in last December, but we sort of adjusted to that by now. Our windows face the other direction, so we get a gorgeous view of Kyiv instead of the cemetery. However, there is a balcony on our 15th floor and it does face the cemetery.
My friend from work and I sometimes go outside to the balcony to get some fresh air and to chat outside of office (we have open-space office… and it’s REALLY open-space with only 1ft dividers between tables). I realized that I don’t mind gazing at the cemetery. They look peaceful – no surprise the most popular quote there is “Rest in peace”… It almost sounds attractive.
I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.
Philippians 1:23, NLT
I haven’t been to one in about 6 or 7 years because I didn’t want to go alone (our cemeteries over here are quite gothic and not safe), but I also did not want to go with any of my family members because my perception of death is slightly different and I don’t really get their’s.
Some may say that I am just young and don’t understand anything and that I probably think that I will never die. Wrong, at least on one count: I know perfectly well that I am going to die sometime because of something. That’s life… err… I mean… You know what I mean. I would disagree with “You don’t understand anything” too, because I have lost people who were close to me. However, all whom I’ve lost were followers of Jesus, so I am not worried about that part. Maybe I am young – won’t argue there – I am.
Some look at me as if I grew a second nose right there on my forehead when I tell them that “Well, we’re all gonna die one day.” I don’t say it in a morbid kind of way, just matter-of-factly. They say I am too young to think about dying. They say that I still have time. I usually shrug and retreat back into my thoughts. Only God knows how much time we have. By worrying about when our time will come we won’t improve the quality of our lives, so why worry?
The only reason (besides the fact that I know that my future is secure) why I think I am not too worried for now is because I do not have a family of my own. I am not worried about leaving my husband / kids behind.
But yeah… those were my random thoughts.