[father’s day]

[father’s day]

There are two holidays that I do not like (at least at this point of my life): St. Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day.

St. Valentine’s Day reminds me of the fact that, to borrow the words from Everyday Sunday’s song, “Seems like everyone else has the someone they need and there’s an odd number of people like me.” Yes, I know that God’s got everything planned out and I trust Him to figure this entire thing. However, there are still times when I observe happy couples (and right now it’s that stage when it seems like all my local friends are getting married)… and I just feel lonely. So for me, St. Valentine’s is like pouring salt into an open wound (although I do celebrate the Love God shows me)…

Father’s Day… everyone’s talking about it these days… This holiday really leaves me with mixed feelings. I have no idea what it really feels like to have a dad. Now, I have to clarify, I had a great childhood and I was blessed with a great family (even if there are only three of us left and one of those three is living in Germany)… But growing up in a family of five women and a she-cat… I don’t know. I feel like I cannot really complain because there are so many families that are FAR from being as good as mine, but… But when I keep reading about Fathers’ day, I can’t help but long to experience that. That sense of security, that sense of knowing that dad can fix something if I accidentally broke it… the sense of knowing that I don’t have to always be strong and that I can crawl into his lap and just rest.

As I was thinking along these lines today, God once again reminded me that I am His daughter.

I stared into the sky which was getting darker and becoming that marvelous blue color, the few brave bright stars glowed in the distance, and I grinned. I couldn’t help it. The sheer realization of the fact that He is the one who loves me and who protects me and cares for me and who is stronger than me… WOW. That leaves me positively speechless.

Someone asked me once what is one trait of God that drew me close to Him. My answer was that He is my Father, my Daddy. He is the One to whom I can come, crawl into His lap (even if I have to imagine that particular part), and rest assured that He would fix the broken things (or broken me) and hug me tight helping me to get through the attacks of the evil one.

So on one hand, Father’s Day is a sad day for me, but on the other hand, it’s our Abba’s Day. And that’s what I am going to celebrate.

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