[father’s day]

[father’s day]

There are two holidays that I do not like (at least at this point of my life): St. Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day.

St. Valentine’s Day reminds me of the fact that, to borrow the words from Everyday Sunday’s song, “Seems like everyone else has the someone they need and there’s an odd number of people like me.” Yes, I know that God’s got everything planned out and I trust Him to figure this entire thing. However, there are still times when I observe happy couples (and right now it’s that stage when it seems like all my local friends are getting married)… and I just feel lonely. So for me, St. Valentine’s is like pouring salt into an open wound (although I do celebrate the Love God shows me)…

Father’s Day… everyone’s talking about it these days… This holiday really leaves me with mixed feelings. I have no idea what it really feels like to have a dad. Now, I have to clarify, I had a great childhood and I was blessed with a great family (even if there are only three of us left and one of those three is living in Germany)… But growing up in a family of five women and a she-cat… I don’t know. I feel like I cannot really complain because there are so many families that are FAR from being as good as mine, but… But when I keep reading about Fathers’ day, I can’t help but long to experience that. That sense of security, that sense of knowing that dad can fix something if I accidentally broke it… the sense of knowing that I don’t have to always be strong and that I can crawl into his lap and just rest.

As I was thinking along these lines today, God once again reminded me that I am His daughter.

I stared into the sky which was getting darker and becoming that marvelous blue color, the few brave bright stars glowed in the distance, and I grinned. I couldn’t help it. The sheer realization of the fact that He is the one who loves me and who protects me and cares for me and who is stronger than me… WOW. That leaves me positively speechless.

Someone asked me once what is one trait of God that drew me close to Him. My answer was that He is my Father, my Daddy. He is the One to whom I can come, crawl into His lap (even if I have to imagine that particular part), and rest assured that He would fix the broken things (or broken me) and hug me tight helping me to get through the attacks of the evil one.

So on one hand, Father’s Day is a sad day for me, but on the other hand, it’s our Abba’s Day. And that’s what I am going to celebrate.

  • I understand. I love my Dad, but I did not see much of him as I grew up, so we are not real close. But, fortunately, many different men came along at differnt points in my life and mentored me – even if by accident.

    I struggle as a pastor during these kinds of holidays, because on the one hand, I want to honor dads, and encourage more dads to be good dads. But, on the other hand, it is really painful for many.

    My recent post the.middle.way

    • I have been blessed to have a lot of older guy friends who helped me during tough times and mentored me too. My pastor is one of those, and i can easily say that he's the bestest ever πŸ˜€

      I hear ya about being "between camps"…

  • I too love my dad but he has chosen to be AWOL for the greater part of my life. Finding a card is next to impossible. Don't know what to do about it either. I know my oldest daughter feels the same way about Valentine's Day as you do. Being single it is her least favorite of all. However, I am glad that both my girls are proud that I am their father. That more than makes up for my feelings on that day of feeling like I have missed out on something.
    My recent post To DO or To BE

    • judging by the comments on your blog by Tami and Janna, i can tell that you're a great father πŸ™‚ we sure need more people like you out there πŸ˜‰ happy upcoming Father's day, Bill! blessed to have you as a friend πŸ™‚

  • Pingback: Cycleguy's Spin » Blog Archive » Fatherhood & Sacrifice()

  • I can relate to this too. My dad died 21 years ago and its still hard. Just go on facebook and see the status updates from everyone about how great their dads are and you start to feel a little bit like you were robbed. However painful, I know God has a plan. I'm sure it will be difficult on Mothers day too now that my mom is gone. Really, its so hard to lose both parents. I miss them both. I'm not sure what plans God has for me and sometimes I feel kind of cursed by life, but it must be something…still not sure about that part yet. Good points Zee. πŸ™‚

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