[interruptions and introverts]
I hate being interrupted. My upbringing wasn’t too strict (in fact, it was quite laid-back), but with my incurable trait of watching people, I have learned most of the rules myself.
The fact that being interrupted sucks was ingrained into me. I don’t remember why. I just know that it bugged me big time. So because I knew it bugged me, I figured that other people might be irritated by it as well and as the result, I try to never interrupt (key word is trying, but hey, I am trying). I’d rather remain quiet than interrupt a thought in the very middle. There are times, of course, when I blow up and ooooooh, it’s better not to cross my road during that time, but it passes quickly.
A lot of people complain that I talk quietly. I don’t like talking very loud and it annoys me when someone is talking very loudly in the bus or somewhere. Partly because I don’t like loud noises (except concerts, but that’s an entirely different atmosphere) and partly because I just naturally speak quietly, I often have to repeat myself because people don’t hear me (or pretend not to hear).
As the result of those two things, I realized that it might be a part of the reason why I enjoy being an introvert. Well, not enjoy, but why I prefer remaining an introvert.
Yeah, it might be a surprise for those who only know me in the blogging world. However, I am an introvert. I tend to analyze things and I am not very outgoing.
As mom interrupted a story I was sharing with a story of her own today, I, being tired and emotionally exhausted from a long weekend (good, but just long), got upset about it. So I walked a bit faster to separate myself from mom and our friend who came for a visit in Moscow and pondered on the reasons why I am upset.
One thing that I realized was that it is exactly because I hate being interrupted and I don’t like interrupting others that I like blogging. It allows me to share whatever is on my mind and THEN receive feedback, not right in the middle of the story when I am about to share the most interesting part.
It sucks being an introvert especially when no one around really suspects it. I act my part and participate in events every so often (most of the time for the sake of my friends who are watching me and how I would act…)… I am tired. I am tired of being told “It’s okay to be an introvert.” I am freakin’ tired when people tell me “Well, this too shall pass” – GOSH – this is WHO I AM! I won’t become someone else just because someone wants me to be different. One time I even yelled at one of my best friends because she tried to tell me (after knowing me for 8 years I thought she’d catch on) that I am not an introvert. Told her that she should stop trying to change me. She got upset. I was too tired to argue and let the point get lost because… UGH.
You know, maybe I am boring for some people. Perhaps, I don’t go out as much as my friends want me to and I love spending Saturdays at home, sleeping in, catching on my energy level, and then spending time with mom.
I do not care. I really DO NOT CARE. This is who I am and although God is working on changing the insides of me, I won’t become an extravert. It is not me.
The point of the post: I AM WHO I AM.
I am Zee, 24 years old, I am a follower of Christ, and I am an INFJ – Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging.
Please do not try to change who I am. Only God has the right to do it.