[not my day]

[not my day]

The day proved to be really odd, with mood swings Poe’s pendulum would be jealous of. Sometimes I was happy and enjoyed everything; at other times, like right now, I didn’t want absolutely nothing.

My baby rose has died. And it was my fault. I tried to make it more comfortable, getting the sunlight instead of being hidden beneath the leaves of the bigger rose (that finally started blooming yesterday)… I re-planted it into a separate cup (it was a really tiny rose and i didn’t think it would need a lot of space – after all, it started out in a cup that was 3 times smaller…)… and today i gave up the hope that it would recover. While the big rose continued enjoying the sunshine and everything, this little rose just dried up (even though the soil was well watered).

I am upset with myself. I should’ve left it under the protective shade of the big rose. My friend Trino also shared a bit of trivia with me and said that “Plants grow stronger in their natural enviroment than in artifical one. The reason for that is the older trees nurture the young ones through their roots.”

Often we want to finally be independent. Maybe it means to leave home. Maybe it means to get a job. Maybe we are tired of being told what to do.

Then we are left to tend for ourselves and for me that thought is scary. I am not an independent person. I do need my time alone without everyone, but when I work, I am a follower, not a leader (even though a lot of people assume that I am a leader…)…

My favorite Psalm 121 says:

The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night.

I am so glad that I can hide in His protective shade and rest assured that His roots will nurture mine. I will die without Him.

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