[random notes: love your enemy]

[random notes: love your enemy]

You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up.

Matthew 5:43-48, the Message

*Sigh*

That was my verse of the day. Not because someone sent it to me in the mail or because it was on the calendar (to think about it, I don’t think I even read the calendar Bible verse today…)… No.

It was my verse of the day because I failed to do precisely that. Love someone who bugs the mind out of me.

Had another quarrel today at work. I tried to remain calm, I breathed deeply, trying to explain why we still cannot send the e-mails. I explained once…twice. I thought all those interested could hear the explanation since we all sit in one big open-space office room.

Then another gal came, “Is the database working?”
“No.”

Third gal, “Zee, the CRM doesn’t send invoices. What do I do?”
“Write to the support. I have no idea.”
“I did. They are silent. I need to be able to do it. When will you fix it?”
“I cannot fix it. I am not an IT person. Write to support. Call them.”
“I called. The contact person is not answering her phone.”
“Well, if she doesn’t answer, what can I do? Call her too?”
“So what do I do?”
“You wait.”

When the fourth gal came to me and asked “Is CRM working today?” I exploded. Speaking slowly like to a kid who doesn’t get it. Quietly at first, yet gaining volume as the questions progressed.

“NO. And I have explained it to EVERYONE by now. CRM IS NOT WORKING. Stop asking me questions. I will write everyone an e-mail when it will start working!”
“I did not know. Couldn’t you tell me in a quieter tone?”
“No, I could not because I am sick of the same question for three weeks in a row. I am not even the responsible party for this CRM. It isn’t my project!”
“You could tell it in a polite way.”
“And you could listen when I talk normally,” I thought, but haven’t said out loud.

I took a deep breath, trying not to break down in tears, packed my laptop and moved to the other end of the office, upset about the stupid quarrel, disappointed with myself because I could not remain calm and generally frustrated because this problem with IT is driving me up the wall because of incessant questions.

Dad always jokingly told me “Never pray for patience.” Why not? Because what is the only way you can learn patience? When you gotta be patient.

Heh, that’s when Michael’s blog update came and it was right on time because I needed those prayers.

It really bugs me that I cannot contain myself sometimes. I am really thankful to God that sometimes His hand is right at my mouth, shutting it and not letting me say words I would regret later. I am thankful to Him that He still gives the strength for reconciliation. Yet…

I want to be a light, His light, at my work, in my office, and it bothers me that I fail. Yeah, most of the time I get along with everyone great, but still there are times when I remember Jesus’ words and feel ashamed.

*Shaking my head…*

P.S. We reconciled in a couple of hours (obviously, God listens to Michael :D). It is back to “sort-of-okay” relationship which we have going on. There are times when I think “Yay, finally we are becoming better friends” and usually that ruins like a house made of cards during a storm… and you start building again.

What do you do when you try but can’t seem to establish a relationship with someone?

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