[random notes: love your enemy]

[random notes: love your enemy]

You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up.

Matthew 5:43-48, the Message

*Sigh*

That was my verse of the day. Not because someone sent it to me in the mail or because it was on the calendar (to think about it, I don’t think I even read the calendar Bible verse today…)… No.

It was my verse of the day because I failed to do precisely that. Love someone who bugs the mind out of me.

Had another quarrel today at work. I tried to remain calm, I breathed deeply, trying to explain why we still cannot send the e-mails. I explained once…twice. I thought all those interested could hear the explanation since we all sit in one big open-space office room.

Then another gal came, “Is the database working?”
“No.”

Third gal, “Zee, the CRM doesn’t send invoices. What do I do?”
“Write to the support. I have no idea.”
“I did. They are silent. I need to be able to do it. When will you fix it?”
“I cannot fix it. I am not an IT person. Write to support. Call them.”
“I called. The contact person is not answering her phone.”
“Well, if she doesn’t answer, what can I do? Call her too?”
“So what do I do?”
“You wait.”

When the fourth gal came to me and asked “Is CRM working today?” I exploded. Speaking slowly like to a kid who doesn’t get it. Quietly at first, yet gaining volume as the questions progressed.

“NO. And I have explained it to EVERYONE by now. CRM IS NOT WORKING. Stop asking me questions. I will write everyone an e-mail when it will start working!”
“I did not know. Couldn’t you tell me in a quieter tone?”
“No, I could not because I am sick of the same question for three weeks in a row. I am not even the responsible party for this CRM. It isn’t my project!”
“You could tell it in a polite way.”
“And you could listen when I talk normally,” I thought, but haven’t said out loud.

I took a deep breath, trying not to break down in tears, packed my laptop and moved to the other end of the office, upset about the stupid quarrel, disappointed with myself because I could not remain calm and generally frustrated because this problem with IT is driving me up the wall because of incessant questions.

Dad always jokingly told me “Never pray for patience.” Why not? Because what is the only way you can learn patience? When you gotta be patient.

Heh, that’s when Michael’s blog update came and it was right on time because I needed those prayers.

It really bugs me that I cannot contain myself sometimes. I am really thankful to God that sometimes His hand is right at my mouth, shutting it and not letting me say words I would regret later. I am thankful to Him that He still gives the strength for reconciliation. Yet…

I want to be a light, His light, at my work, in my office, and it bothers me that I fail. Yeah, most of the time I get along with everyone great, but still there are times when I remember Jesus’ words and feel ashamed.

*Shaking my head…*

P.S. We reconciled in a couple of hours (obviously, God listens to Michael :D). It is back to “sort-of-okay” relationship which we have going on. There are times when I think “Yay, finally we are becoming better friends” and usually that ruins like a house made of cards during a storm… and you start building again.

What do you do when you try but can’t seem to establish a relationship with someone?

  • Zee…Lol…

    Seriously there is power in prayer.

    You ask the question what do we do when we try but can't sem to establish a relationship? My answer is simple: prayer and more prayer. I have learned more about myself and others while on my knees than any other thing.

    • that was one of the fastest prayer answers ever 🙂

      yep. heh… reading Philip Yancey's book called "Prayer" right now, it's fitting… amazing how something seemingly so feeble is SOOOO powerful!

  • Zee: I am going to be a rebel here and say, "it is about time you stood up and said what needed to be said." Some people need to listen better and hear with both ears. IMHO that person was denying any part in the lack of communication. However, i am glad you have "reconciled" even if it is just a beginning for now. In the meantime, I would go to the head honcho and to the IT people and tell them to get their rear in gear. Nicely of course. 🙂

    • haha. thanks, Bill 😀

      our boss is stuck in the US because of the volcano eruption (half of the airports in Europe were closed due to the ash cloud)… usually he's the one i go to when i got problems like this since he is most of the time on my side 😀

      the IT people – *sigh* trying to talk to them, but that second company is being a "pib." thankfully just got an e-mail from Microsoft guy who says that he will start working tomorrow in the morning. yay. something's MOVIN!

  • You sound a lot like me!

    After I have cooled off, I make sure I always apologize for my part in the "discussion."
    And then like Michael…I pray and pray.

    • most of the time, i apologize too…

      unless it is a situation which better be left alone altogether (when apologizing would bring only more arguments toward me and the point we were trying to make…)

  • It seems prayer is the most difficult thing to do when you are upset. We all know it is the one thing that is what we should do most at these moments, but it is often the most distant from your mind. Even when you realize you should pray, it is so hard giving up being angry to do it. Sometimes when I get angry, I want to stay that way and not give it up to quickly.

    • heh, that reminded me of half of the psalms 😀 there was time when i could not understand how David could write that, but it makes more and more sense lately… gotta love David's honesty 🙂

      thanks for your honesty too 🙂

  • Prayer by Yancey is great but be prepared to come away with more questions than answers when you are done.

    I am like Dusty and Michael in the sense I try to apologize quickly then pray, pray, and pray some more.

    • No kiddin. I already have tons of questions (well… on top of the ton I had before)… But i like the way he writes – although i keep wishing he just said what to do and how to pray, it is great that he doesn't say it because then i would consider it just one of those "self help Prayer for Dummies" book.. i'm odd.

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