[random notes: the passion]

[random notes: the passion]

I was home alone yesterday and decided to watch The Passion of the Christ again. I have watched it a couple of times a few years ago, but yesterday just felt like a… hmmm… good day to watch it (good day sounds odd).

Anyway. I have it on my computer and so with my cat sleeping next to me, I hit “Play” and watched.

Apart from the usual thoughts most have during this movie (“He really did go through it all, didn’t He?”), the question that kept running in circles in my mind was: if I were one of His disciples back then… would I be like Peter who was so sure of himself and yet denied Jesus three times? Or would I be like John who stayed with his friend until the very end?

Neither John nor Peter nor the other disciples really knew what was going to happen. They didn’t experience the delirious joy of Jesus’ resurrection yet. Yes, Jesus mentioned it to them a few times, but it was something they could not even imagine. Yes, Jesus himself raised a few people, but if Jesus is dead, who will raise Him? They didn’t know the entire story yet like we do these days.

I so want to say that I would be like John – staying loyal even when the people might arrest me along with Jesus, being there for Him even if it just means a friendly face in an ocean of hatred.

But I am afraid that I would be like Peter, the Peter who was before Jesus’ resurrection and ascension.

I wish I could confidently say “I will be there for You” but there’s this nagging bug that says “Well, you’ve let Him down quite a few times already, how d’you know that it won’t happen again?”

Sometimes I… sometimes I really wish I could’ve been there – even if just to see whether I can withstand the temptation to give Him up and give in to the basic instinct of survival. Whether I would be able to die there with Him if that’s what loyalty required.

What would you do if you were there? Have you ever asked yourself that question? If you have, what answer did you give yourself?

  • So funny you bring this topic up. I am a small group leader at my church (I got to Bethlehem Baptist in Minneapolis) for preschool kids and the lesson was on Peter denying Jesus. Poor Peter. I think I would be like Peter. Peter isn't all bad though. In the end of John, I think, Jesus redeems Peter and its so beautiful. For every time that Peter denied Jesus, Jesus said "Peter, do you love me?" I think Jesus was saying I forgive you Peter and I want to make sure your faith is really strong, not with just words, but with deed too. And then we know that Peter dies on a cross, upside down because He doesn't feel worthy to die like Jesus did. And Peter learned his lesson. I think that the disciples all probably were smarter than I am and more willing to follow than I am sometimes. Maybe I'd be the one who didn't believe? Thankfully, I don't have to find out…LOL

    • Oh yeah, Peter is cool, i really like Peter (well, when he didn't act out of "gotta-say-something-since-i-cannot-remain-quiet" trait of his character). If there was any indicator that Jesus really rose from the dead (among all other), it was the change in Peter (as well as other disciples, but Peter's example was especially awesome)…

      I love that passage in John. I wrote a blog post about it and there was one very interesting comment to it, by Herb.

  • I used to think of this a lot Zee. I was arrogant and proud and often said, "Huh. I wouldn't do what Peter did." Then I did it. "I wouldn't do what the rest of the disciples did…run away." Then I did. All of a sudden I realized that I am NO different than them…just moved ahead 2000 years. When I realized that I began to say, "I would hope I would not do that" but then I did (even with all my hoping and my 20/20 view. I now know that I would and simply pray that if the opportunity shows itself that I will be faithful to Him.

    • Yes, i, too, believe that prayer is the only tool we can use in this kind of situations… no wonder Jesus told his disciples "Watch and pray that you would not fall into temptation. The Spirit is willing, but the flesh [and mind – my addition] is weak."

  • I agree with Bill – (BTW second comment today on a blog where I said that – not too sure what that says about me :- ) ) I used to have that proud answer where I not do what they did but over the years I have realized that I have done the same as them in a less hostile environment. I do pray that I would be faithful.

    • you know the saying "great minds think alike" 😉 i think that's the case with you and Bill 😉

  • I third Bill! I have definitely been a Peter in this situation on more than one occasion. I pray daily for a faith that allows me to stand my ground and say, "I'm with Jesus!"

    • haha, the phrase "to third someone" has gained popularity, eh? 😀

      amen to that prayer, brother.

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