[rest!]

[rest!]

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23, NLT

SCRAM - EBR-1

I have been thinking a lot about rest lately. The 2-week vacation 3 weeks ago seems like a distant dream and feels like it never has been real. Considering the amount of work that the Chamber team has done in these three absolutely crazy weeks, it’s a wonder only a couple of people got sick.

I keep reminding myself about the fact that rest is necessary. My friend David wrote about pastoral sabbatical leaves and I agree that pastors do need rest (because serving with your emotions / soul / mind / heart involved fulltime is exhausting), but I felt that for me it was also a reminder to STOP.

I will never be able to do everything. I can’t. I am not really expected to do EVERYTHING – that’s why there’s a team. Yet, I cannot seem to find the brake pedal. There’s so much to do and I simply do not let myself relax.

I guess that’s what happens when one loves his / her work as I do. Not even the work – I enjoy learning new things (in technological part it’s constantly upgrading and changing), spending time with my co-workers, and just making sure that we’re the best Chamber of Commerce.

Yet… I feel like everything else has moved into the background during these three weeks. On one hand I could not leave my team and say “You know, you work here, and I’ll go home and rest…” On the other hand, God commands us to have rest. COMMANDS. It’s not a wish, not a request. It is a command.

Is it possible to find a balance in life with questions like this one?

*Sigh* I want to scream quietly (don’t really have the strength to really scream), I want to curl up in a ball and hide away, I want to sleep, I want to REST. More than anything I want to go back to having clear mind and being able to think straight. All I could do after coming back from work at night was play games on Facebook – Restaurant and Crazy Planets. Why those? Because I don’t have to think while playing. I just stare at the figures.

Sad.

And still the Psalm is encouraging. Without God’s quiet reassurance, I am not sure where I would be. He gives me strength for myself as well as strength to be there for my friends. He is calming me down. And the most amazing thing of all – He loves me.

I need to sleep now. Good night.

P.S. The picture up top is one of my own pictures – it’s a photo of the button that shuts down nuclear energy reactor at the EBR-1. Dad took me there in 2008, it was quite a trip.

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