[anyone else know the answer?]

[anyone else know the answer?]

My sleep cycle is all messed up due to the holidays and staying up late. It is 3AM right now and I am awake, counting thoughts instead of sheep, yet it does not help me fall asleep.

The latest thought was triggered by a recent memory from the Church camp that took place a few days ago. We were all playing a Bible Quiz game where my pastor read the questions and we had to answer. The first one to answer correctly got a chocolate candy.

For some time, I just observed. Then I decided to play. After a few candies (and after a few times when my correct answer was ignored), I went back to observing people.

The reason for retreat – I knew many answers but every time I would answer, my friends would say, “Oh, she knows everything.”

I wish.

But, although i never really needed (or tried) to study hard and long to know stuff, my mind easily remembers random things that I’ve learned at one point of time or another, hence it never was tough for me to learn something when I wanted to / when I was interested in learning.

Back in Sunday school when I was just a kid, I also liked to answer the questions when I knew the correct answer (which most of the time was obvious anyway – like in that joke about Jesus and squirrel). At some point of time, the teachers started telling me, “Zena, let the others answer” or ask a question and say, “Does anyone (besides Zena) know the answer?”

It drove me nuts. I knew / know that everyone needs to get a chance to answer, but that was the time when I started observing people more than being up front with answers. Every time someone complained about being called to answer, I thought to myself, “How can they complain, it’s so fun to answer questions!” And it wasn’t that I just wanted the candy for the correct answer and that was it – I wanted to share my knowledge with others. I still like to share with others, although the experience of “anyone else besides you” left its paw-print on my sharing attitude.

I am not sure what the correct way to deal with situations like this one is. Maybe I am the only one who was bugged by the idea of knowing the answer and not being able to say it. But it still bugs me.

I am not saying that I know everything. Thank God, I don’t – I don’t want to know everything. I would go nuts then. Even with what I know now it is hard.

Maybe I should just be quiet and let the others answer. That seems like a simple way out (not an easy one, however). Observing people is good enough and that way I would not bug anyone with what I know.

We’ll see how that goes.

– The Observer

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