What a terrible thing it is for children to see death, you say. We have it all wrong. If you make a child terrified of death, he won’t embrace it so easily. And death must be embraced if you wish to follow Christ. Listen to His teaching. ‘Unless you become like a child… and unless you take up your cross daily, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.’ One is not valuable without the other.

The Dance of the Dead, 1959, Janjic Jovic

For once, after reading When Heaven Weeps, I thought that my frequent curious musings about death aren’t a bad thing.

SIDENOTE: Perhaps I should note that I do not have a death wish, for those of you who don’t know me well enough. I like life and enjoy living.

It’s just that I can’t understand why people are afraid of death. Especially Christians. Dying – yes. There are different ways to die and most of them aren’t pleasant (probably the only “pleasant” way is to die in old age in your sleep)… but death itself? It should be a celebration for believers!

For those who don’t believe in God – well, the fear of unknown is great, but still… if you prefer to claim there’s no God, no hell, no nothing, then why be afraid? That won’t make your life easier and you’ll die in the end anyway.

I’ve seen death. Both my aunt and my grandma have passed away. They were Christians and I know that whatever Heaven looks like, it’s a LOT better than this world and so I am happy for them. Yes, selfishly I miss them and wish they were here, but that is for selfish reasons. To be honest, at their funerals, I felt like… I don’t even know how to describe it… peace. They fought long battles with illnesses that took their lives but they were home… finally safely home.

Of course, I am not sure how I will react to other deaths. I have grown older and now what seemed to be obvious, like faith, seems tougher. Not because God has changed, but because I think more… yet, I hope that I will feel peace as well. Grief too, but peace.

Another thing that frequents my mind… Lazarus’ story. Poor Lazarus. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes. Yes, it seemed like a great joy that Jesus resurrected him. But in the long run, Lazarus had to die (physically, I mean) twice. We don’t know about his second death, when it happened, but his first one wasn’t exactly the most pleasant thing… and wherever he has been during those four days… had to be more beautiful than anything. I wonder how he dealt with coming back to life where everything seemed so trivial…

Long rant… but the main thing is… I no longer feel like I am the only one who struggles with the thoughts of death. Not that I struggle with them, but like I said, I can never share these thoughts with people because they immediately assume I am thinking about a suicide. Which I am not 🙂

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