[how are you?]
I was talking to a friend of mine today during our lunch break at work. in our frequent talks (during morning coffee, lunch, or whenever we get to be together), we cover all kinds of topics… today it was trust and the meaning of the word “Okay.”
“How are you?” (or the slangs for it – what’s up and howdy) are the most frequent question we all hear and ask. Sometimes it’s used as just a greeting, which bugs me. If you want to greet someone, just say hi. Don’t ask how the person is doing without wanting to hear the answer. How do YOU answer that question?
Seriously… we usually say “okay” or “fine” or “good.” Why?
- First reason is obvious – you actually are doing good.
- You don’t want to burden the other person with your troubles.
- “It’s just a greeting, who cares about the real answer?” You don’t think people care enough to listen to your answer.
- You are trying to talk yourself into believing that everything is good.
- “Many people have it worse than me…”
- You don’t want to answer the actual question.
Should I go on? There are tons of reasons why we hide behind the answer “I’m fine.” (Besides the first option.)
To how many people can you actually say “I’m actually going through hard times right now”?
When I started thinking about that, I realized that for me, the list of those people is quite short. I have a lot of friends, but to admit that something is wrong… I can only share it with a few people who would genuinely listen and not judge me, but try to understand where I am coming from. Sadly to say, only a couple of those people I trust with this are from my Church. I am more at ease with people from my work.
To be honest, I have used (and still use) all the options above. Thankfully, a lot of times, I am actually doing good. Nevertheless, there were times when I avoided the question, there were times when I wanted to believe that everything will be okay and so I tried to train myself to think everything okay (it works sometimes, you know?)… and most of the times, I said “okay” because I did not think people really wanted to hear the true answer.
There are times when I am not doing good and I thank God for sending people my way whom I can trust and who would listen, give a hug (even a virtual one works), and simply be there.
And of course, God is always there to listen and to love me.
*content sigh* I am doing good, thank you. option #1.